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| "AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM
SHOWCASE
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December 2006 / January 2007 Contest Results |
How Wise
Were Those Men?
By Laura Snyder,
North Carolina
One night as I
was stuck in Holiday gridlock, I looked up and saw a star. It was either
that or the International Space Station, I’m not sure. It was pretty
bright, though, compared to the red and green traffic lights I couldn’t
seem to get through.
The alleged star made me think about the First Christmas. I don’t know
why. Maybe because I was a little envious that there was no such thing
as camel gridlock when the Three Wise Men saw that bright star two
thousand years ago. If there was, they may not have gotten to the stable
before Jesus made his bar mitzvah.
Those Three Wise Men were supposedly kings and they brought gifts of
gold, frankincense and myrrh. But when I was a youngster, I thought
their names might have been Curly, Larry, and Moe. Even then, as young
as I was, I knew that no one in their right mind would bring a hunk of
metal, perfume and ointment to a Baby. They may have been Kings, but
they didn’t seem to be very wise.
To be fair, Baby Jesus may have had some use for the ointment if His
mother, Mary, had used it to prevent rashes in His… swaddling clothes, I
guess. But what would He do with gold and frankincense? They were kings
and presumably they knew that they were visiting a newborn King -- the
Greatest King who would ever live -- so apparently they thought that
Jesus should be rich, smell good, and have no chapped body parts.
If they were instead Three Wise Women, they would have thought to bring
things like a rattle, more swaddling clothes, food, and oh…How about a
cradle that wasn’t presently being used as a dinner plate for livestock?
It wasn’t bad enough that this poor Child, who would one day save all of
humankind, had to suffer the cold and stench of a barn on His first day
of life, but He also had to share His bed with the slobbery end of a
hungry cow.
I think, also, that these Three Kings could have used their power and
influence to secure a room at the inn for the Holy Family. Imagine if
three… count’em, three…kings showed up at your motel and requested a
room. As the innkeeper, would you tell them you had no room? I don’t
think so. You’d stutter an elated “Hello!” and roll out the red carpet!
In order to keep the patronage of such rich and well-connected people,
you’d say, “Just one moment while I check to be sure our three best VIP
rooms are ready.” Then you’d run down the hall yelling “Fire!” until the
place was cleared.
Fortunately, Baby Jesus was a forgiving sort as well as being very
generous, so no doubt the events of the First Christmas happened just
exactly the way they were supposed to. The Holy Family may have used the
frankincense to make the barn smell better and the gold to buy a
top-of-the-line donkey with all the options so they could ride home in
comfort. Or perhaps they were smart investors who put it into a college
fund for Jesus or He used it to finance His ministry.
As I rolled slowly through another traffic light, I felt the urge to
cuss at the driver who pulled in front of me and left me stranded in the
middle of the intersection. Cars beeped, drivers howled, the lights
turned again.
If I were a Wise Woman, I most likely wouldn’t have been out shopping
tonight. But unfortunately, my friends and family probably wouldn’t be
quite as forgiving if I gave them a rock, air freshener, and Vaseline
for Christmas.
http://www.lauraonlife.com
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