|
|
|
| "AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM
SHOWCASE
|
|
|
October /
November 2006 Contest Results |
Beauty On
The Beast
By Joel Schwartzberg,
New Jersey
I’ve always
been the kind of person who believed that shampoo and conditioner could
coexist in the same bottle; who believed soap should come in a bar, not
a bottle, and be called soap, not shower gel; and who thought luffa
sponges belonged in aquarium exhibits, not shower stalls. In other
words, I’m a guy (as if my beard didn’t already give me away).
But more and more, guys are starting to consider "product" for our
hair and skin. We don’t even need "queer eyes" or superstar status to
motivate us. Perhaps we’re becoming more self-conscious, or maybe we’re
jealous of all the attention some women lavish on themselves and their
bodies. Or maybe we just want a reason to take more medicine cabinet
space. Regardless, it was clear I needed some expert insight if I was to
effectively investigate this phenomenon. After all, I’ve been using the
same enormous bottle of K-Mart shampoo since 1995. With holiday season
around the corner, it might also be time to start thinking creatively
about gifts for men that don’t require batteries or "some assembly."
Enter Illyne Anidjar, owner of beautylounge in Summit, New Jersey. If
anyone can give me a beauty realization makeover, she can. A former
executive manager with Frederic Fekkai in New York City, Anidjar opened
her store in October and has clearly forgotten more about beauty than
I’ll ever know.
Anidjar tells me that modern men, particularly in their 30’s and 40’s,
are extremely interested in taking care of themselves. "These days it’s
considered okay for a man to express an interest in grooming – almost
cool to be versed in different types of products," she said. Men who
come into her store, she told me, are not afraid to ask for what they
want, be it anti-wrinkle cream, something for thinning hair, or
something that can help them smell differently than the inside of their
cars.
Among the most popular men’s grooming items at Beauty Lounge are
"anti-oxidant skin moisturizers with age inhibitor complex," "eye
moisturizers with rice bran protein," "thickening shampoos," and
"fragrances like Rum Tonic or Lotus Root". It’s important to keep all
these names straight, because you won’t impress anyone by saying you
enjoy rice bran, smell like rum, and have a thickening age complex.
As for philosophy, Anidjar said "I believe in prevention. The earlier
you take care of your skin, the longer it will hold out. Men usually
don’t realize this until they see the first line and then panic." She
dispelled the myth that all shampoos are the same, and told me “a man
that smells good is a man to have around."
Some might think such grooming is a pointless exercise in narcissism.
"Joel, you’re so vain," you might say. "I bet you think this column
is all about you. Don’t you? Don’t you?" To you I say, you’re listening
to too much soft rock. Also, there’s nothing wrong with being indulgent
from time to time. If you can do something that makes you both feel good
and look good, not to mention smell good, then more power to you.
So no more all-in-one shampoos or dry soaps for me. I also take back
many of the bad things I’ve said about luffa sponges (they’re very
sensitive you know). I’m going to start being the kind of man “to have
around." At least until my next K-Mart run.
http://www.jesttokill.com
.
|
