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"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE

August/September 2005 Contest Results


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"Alarm Clocks"

By Cindy Dwyer, Guilford, CT
Honorable Mention, August/September 2005

As humans, we must be inherently masochistic. Every day we set ourselves up for a “sneak attack.” We go to bed and willingly set a trap, which springs on us early the next morning. Yes, I am referring to the dreaded alarm clock. 

There are all sorts out there now. You can go with the traditional incessant beeping or radio station option. Then there are others you can pre-program with whatever message you want. 

If I ever got one of those, I know exactly what I would record. Every morning I would awaken to my boss’s voice saying, “It’s ok. Go back to sleep. If you feel like showing up later, that’s great. If not, just take the day off.”

Since it is annoying to wake up anyway, I figure at least this way, I can pretend there is no rush. For a few more precious minutes, I can fantasize that ...

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