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"Have You Met My Cousin, Feng
Shui?"
By Mary
Ketarkus-Brown, Geneva, IL
Finalist
New age stuff sells. I know because I've bought most of it.
For me a
"yes," "no," or "try again later" answer to major life decisions isn’t enough. To discover my cosmic life purpose I had my natal chart progressed and past life regressed. Turns out I was either Vlad the Impaler or a killer tomato.
I'm not alone in my search.
People, some with addresses outside Transylvania, have consulted ancient scientific literature for centuries. Popes and kings wondered,
"Why we are here? What is the meaning of life? Where are my car
keys?"
Regular folks seek wisdom to
"empower a realm of spiritual well-being," boldly going beyond where any Ouija board planchette has gone before.
New age books recycle Old World healing qualities of herbs, incense and crystals. The Surgeon General could requisition crystals before next
Winter’s flu outbreak. "Sir, FedEx is here with one big-ass hunk of rose
quartz..."
Wannabe-lievers like myself buy scratch-n-sniff
aroma-therapy books, leatherette box sets about white magic, the lighter, low-calorie magic and primers on Sacred Geometry, the study of geometric patterns, like crop circles carved in cornfields by the Bass Ale factory in England.
I pass on
"Exorcism for Dummies," but thumb through a dream-analysis book to decode what my dreams about flying toothless cobras mean.
Until I picked up ""Feng Shui for Mere
Mortals," I thought she was Tae Kwon Do's cousin. I applied a couple of Feng Shui principles in my kitchen and have to say I do feel more at one with my appliances.
"Everybody Loves
Shaman" chronicles a healer's wisdom and adventure as he returns missing pieces of people's souls. This book should be required reading for law students.
Channeling thoughts from spirit beings in another dimension is the subject of
"Don’t Touch That Dial." These must be the guys who feed the President his lines. Maybe I could channel a shaman to record my voicemail message:
"I can't come to the phone right now. I'm having my aura
cleansed."
Of course, the caller would have known that if she'd used her sixth sense.
My mind spins from so many titles.
"Right Wing Rituals," "Larry King's Love Spells," and
"Choosing the Right Cult for Your Kid."
I know skeptics wave off metaphysical studies as so much deja voodoo, but any one tome might hold the truth to the meaning of life, the future, or at least offer the illusion of hope, all for the low, low price of $6.66.
http://www.room-redesign.com
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