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April/May 2010 Humor Writing Contest Results!

Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our writing contest!

Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.

All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:

  • H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
  • U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
  • M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
  • O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
  • R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
    (OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)

You, too, can get in on the fun, get published online and in print, and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!

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April/may 2010 WINNERS...
(Click ANY Title to See Entry)

Right to Bear and Date Arms
By Mary Tompsett, Wisconsin

First-Place Winner



Razing Arizona
By Barry Parham, South Carolina
Second-Place Winner



Hopes and Dreams: The Art of Meaningful Conversation
By Burton Cole, Ohio

Third-Place Winner

How to Organize Your Home Office When Your Baby Is Filed Under "Miscellaneous"
By Margie Finn, California

Fourth-Place Winner

The Wrong Side of the Bed
Laurie Lichtenstein, New York

Fifth-Place Winner


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April/may 2010 FINALISTS... 
(in alphabetical order by author)
. .

Opinion Polls Show Americans No Longer Trust American Public Opinion
By Carlos Arnade, Virginia

Travel Writing
By David Crawford, British Columbia

Dad Passes Critical Potty Test
By Jonathan Criswell, Delaware

When the Driving Public Is Stuck in Neutral
Jonathan Criswell, Delaware

Hallelujah! Free at Last!
Juliana LeRoy, California

A Story of Self-Fulfilling Prophesy
By Dorothy Rosby, South Dakota

My Random Thoughts...
By Elene Silva, New York

Dining for My Art
By Kathleen M. Wooton, M.D., New Jersey

Russian Roulette Is Not the Same Without A Gun
By Blake Zurbuchen, California


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April/may 2010 SEMI-FINALISTS... 
(in alphabetical order by author)
. .

President Obama Moves to Secure Volcanoes Worldwide
By Carlos Arnade, Virginia

The President Announces A Plan To Simplify The U.S. Economy
By Carlos Arnade, Virginia

Drain Oh-Oh
By David Crawford, British Columbia

What Is It About Men And Home Depot?
By Kelly Dynes, Kentucky

Online D.A.T.I.N.G (Disastrous and Traumatic - Itís Not Good)
By Mary Kirchhoff, Pennsylvania

Grey Matter Management 101
By Lisa Lucke, California

To All Dieters: Important Message from The Scale Amnesty Society
By JoAnn McGowan,

A Woman Who Tells You Where To Go
By Jill Pertler, Minnesota

The Pans of Our Lives
By Kim Swed, Pennsylvania

Send in the Rodeo Clowns
By Karla Telega, South Carolina

Still Working and Witless
Mary Tompsett, Wisconsin

Diary of a Woman with Brittle Bones
Kathy Welch, Nevada


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April/may 2010 HONORABLE MENTIONS... 
(in alphabetical order by author)

The 2010 Claxton Census
By Deb Claxton, Wisconsin

Sleep Talk of Purple Pigs and Peaches Wakes Up the Fun
By Burton Cole, Ohio

Unlocking Doors and Lifeís Mysteries, One Fob Press at a Time
By Burton Cole, Ohio

How to Know Your Neighborhood Is Going to Hell
By Courtney Colwell, New Jersey

Why I Cannot Live Without A Messy Desk
By Glenn H.,

To Tortoise Owners Everywhere
By Neil Hocking,
United Kingdom

The Adventures of Bison
Jessi Hotakainen, Florida

Patty Kimerer Has Become a Fan of "Hating Facebook"
Patty Kimerer, Ohio

The Best Medicine May Be in the Mailbox
Vincent O'Keefe, Ohio

Bedhead, Bedroom Shoes and A Runaway Bosom
Joni Pittman, Georgia

Fun at the Beach
Richard Turck, Washington

The Robe
Thomas Wheeler, Texas


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Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!

If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft. 

  • Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
  • Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.

However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)

We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!

Enter Today!

Like to see your name in print? Love to rant and rave about your favorite topics? Channel that creative energy by entering our humor writing contests!


Have Fun! Get Published! Win Cash Prizes!SM

  • 1st/2nd Quarter 2015 contest entry period is Jan. 1st through June 30th, 2015.
  • Entries should be 750 words or less.
  • $250.00 in total cash prizes will be awarded. Five winners will be named.
  • Winners, Finalists/Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions will be published online! Selections also may appear in optional print edition(s) with no book purchase required!
  • Entry Fee is only $10, So Don't Miss Out. Enter Today!
  • Multiple entries are allowed, including your columns previously published elsewhere. Each entry must include an entry fee.
  • Book purchase is optional and is not required for entry.
    (Get Book One! Get Book Two! Get Book Three!)

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