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"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM
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December 2009/January 2010
Humor Writing Contest Results!
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Congratulations
to the
Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
writing contest!
Click any
headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see
other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive
"H-U-M-O-R"SM
judging
criteria:
- H = Humor --
Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality --
Is it fairly "clean"?
- M =
Moxie
-- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality
-- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W",
could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published
online and in print, and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor!" Writing Contest Today!
Get Book One!
Get Book Two!
Get Book Three!
FREE Affiliate Program --
Earn Book Commissions!
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December 2009/January 2010 WINNERS...
(Click
ANY Title to See Entry)
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American Public Fed Up With Uncontrolled Rural Sprawl
By Carlos Arnade, Virginia
First-Place
Winner
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The Change In Birthday Parties
By David Crawford, British Columbia
Second-Place Winner
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The Agony Of "The Feet"
By Matt Foley, Illinois
Third-Place Winner
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Wherefore Is The Sense In Shakespeare?
By
Burton Cole,
Ohio
Fourth-Place Winner
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Wii Wish You A Happy New Year
By
Danielle Schaaf,
Texas
Fifth-Place Winner
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December 2009/January 2010 FINALISTS...
(in alphabetical order by author)
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 EBBS Market
Implodes: Investors Close to Panic
By
Carlos Arnade, Virginia
The
Next Generation Gets Itself Lost
By Carlos Arnade, Virginia
‘You
See, But You Do Not Observe’
By Burton Cole, Ohio
Hang
Up! My Pocket's On Hold!
By
Burton
Cole,
Ohio
Dumb
Juan
By
Kevin Craner,
United Kingdom
New-Relationship
Contract
By Kevin Craner, United Kingdom
What
I Learned While Watching The World Series On FOX, Presented By Coors
Light, Wells Fargo, and Sierra Mist
By Patrick Foy, Pennsylvania
Life's
To-Do List
By David Goldstein, California
Pedigrees
& Crossbreeds
By C.W. Plunkett, California
What
Possessed Them... To Buy That Stick Family Decal?
By
Ann Marie Jancovich,
Arizona
Hang
Up Or Die!
By David Jenkins,
Montana
The
Girl For Me
By Barry Parham, South Carolina
Getting
A Haircut
By Rick Turck, Washington
Merry
Christmas Eve, Everyone -- Some Assembly Required
By Dawn W., Ohio
Alternate
Endings
By Ed Welter, Oregon
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December 2009/January 2010 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(in alphabetical order by author)
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 Why I’d Like To Matrix-Pummel Kirk Cameron
By Gordon Chapman, Georgia
Humor
Basic
By David Crawford, British Columbia
Dining
with Count Chocula -- Cereals Bowls Grace the Supper Table
By Burton Cole, Ohio
Healthcare!
The Musical
By Christopher Hivner, Pennsylvania
Is
It Just Me?
By Patty K.,
Ohio
Woman
Cooks After 12 Years
By Mary Kirchhoff,
Pennsylvania
I
Love Telemarketing
By Jeanne Kraus,
Florida
Driving
Miss Conception
By
Barry Parham,
South Carolina
Don't
Judge Mom By Her Fridge
By Martha Peebles, Illinois
Cougars
By
Ann Thomas,
California
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December 2009/January 2010 HONORABLE
MENTIONS...
(in alphabetical order by author)
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 City Boy Lesson Learned: Don't Use Poison Ivy As A Backscratcher
By Terry Dawley, Pennsylvania
Mr.
Doodles and Me
By Matt Foley, Illinois
And
Now a Word From Our Sponsors
By Weston Locher, Florida
And
Then He Hit Me
By Barry Parham,
South Carolina
The
Day I Was Fired
By
Diane Pascoe,
North Carolina
Dead
Bears and Sour Cherries
By
Beverly Petravicius,
Illinois
10
TV Shows I Can't Wait For My Kids To Leave Behind
By Joel Schwartzberg,
New Jersey
Godzilla
vs. The Mall
By
Karla Telega,
South Carolina
Toys
By
Katherine Turski,
Texas
Financial
Mess Affects Mr. Potato Head
By
Christopher Venckus,
Wisconsin
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Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your
entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a
specialized craft, and
it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were
well-written, but needed more work setting up
the humor and punching
up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and
punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other
entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or
vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing
as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most
universal appeal.
However,
just by
entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You
already did better than those who just thought about entering,
but didn't even try!)
We hope you will
enter again and look forward to
seeing more of
your work!
Enter
Today!
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Like to
see your name in print?
Love to rant and rave about your favorite topics? Channel that creative
energy by entering our humor writing contests!
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