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| "AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM
SHOWCASE |
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August/September 2009
Humor Writing Contest Results! |
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Congratulations
to the
Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
writing contest!
These
results will be featured until judging of the October/ November 2009
contest is complete and new results are posted on or before December 21,
2009.
Click any
headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see
other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive
"H-U-M-O-R"SM
judging
criteria:
- H = Humor --
Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality --
Is it fairly "clean"?
- M =
Moxie
-- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality
-- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W",
could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published
online and in print, and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor!" Writing Contest Today!
Get Book One!
Get Book Two!
Get Book Three!
FREE Affiliate Program --
Earn Book Commissions!
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AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2009 WINNERS...
(Click
ANY Title to See Entry)
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Offspring Of The Marvel/Disney Marriage
By Joel Schwartzberg, New Jersey
First-Place
Winner
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Callous
Remarks
By David Crawford, Canada
Second-Place Winner
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The
"S" Word
By Ann Thomas,
California
Third-Place Winner
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When
A Road Warrior Marries A Road Wimp
By
Cindy P.,
Minnesota
Fourth-Place Winner
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POLIanTICS:
A Primer for Those Who Don't Know Their Left From Their Right
By
William Schmitt,
New York
Fifth-Place Winner
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AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2009 FINALISTS...
(in alphabetical order by author)
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 Criminal
Compassion With Kenny MacAskill
By
Kevin
Craner,
United Kingdom
The
Wave Rider
By
David Crawford,
Canada
It's
A Wonderful Meat
By
Amber F.,
Texas
“Today’s
Humor—Whither?” or “What’s so Funny, Buster?”
By Joel Habush, Wisconsin
How
To Be (Safely) NOT NICE In A Politically Correct World
By Debra Joy Hart,
Illinois
Why
I'm Crotchety
By William Schmitt,
New York
Increasing
Life Span Forcing Funeral Homes Out of Business
By Scott Sleek, Maryland
Were
Seven Days Enough?
By Riva Stone, Vermont
A
Personal Message From DoomSayersDirect.com
By Amy Ward, Wisconsin
Throwing
In The Towel
By Mary Beth Weisenburger, Ohio
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AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2009 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(in alphabetical order by author)
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 Listen To Me
By Cindy Argiento, North Carolina
Human
Diversity Report Irritates The British People
By Carlos Arnade, Virginia
Millions
Of Americans Are Diagnosed With Deficit Attention Disorder
By Carlos Arnade, Virginia
Thanksgiving
Makeover
By Laura Bridgwater, Colorado
If
You Don't Read This, I Will Kidnap Your Family
By Pete Lopez,
New York
Get
A (Virtual) Life
By Shane McAfee,
New York
How
Better Health Care Can Save the Economy
By Dan McGinley,
Connecticut
That's
No Moon
By
Danielle Mutarelli,
New Hampshire
What
Time Does The Liquor Store Close?
By Debbie Patrick, Pennsylvania
My
Foray Into Journalism
By Richard Pierce, Nevada
Confessions
Of A Husband Beater
By Katherine Turski, Texas
Toilet
Paper, On A Roll... Or Wipe Out
By Jo Worsham, Texas
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AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2009 HONORABLE
MENTIONS...
(in alphabetical order by author)
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 Doll-Sized Economic Indicators
By Laura Bridgwater, Colorado
The
DMV: A Testimonial
By Jordan Butler, Maryland
Laundryville
... Where Life Lessons Are Free
By Vicky DeCoster, Nebraska
A
Dinosaur Named Who?
By Sue Anna Langenberg,
Illinois
Spray
Bottles: Punishing Cats Since 1947
By
Weston Locher,
Florida
Cube
Farm Fever
By
Shane McAfee,
New York
But
Wait! There's More!!
By
Rose Mula,
Massachusetts
How
To Get Ripped Off
By
Saralee Perel,
Massachusetts
Men
And Aging
By
Caroline Reid,
California
Pocketbook
Parameters
By
Diane R.,
New Hampshire
Airlines
Stop Providing Seats On Domestic Flights
By
Scott Sleek,
Maryland
My
Neighborhood Bank
By
Ann Thomas,
California
Man
For All Seasons, Woman Of All Fashions
By
Katherine Turski,
Texas
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Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your
entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a
specialized craft, and
it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were
well-written, but needed more work setting up
the humor and punching
up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and
punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other
entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or
vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing
as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most
universal appeal.
However,
just by
entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You
already did better than those who just thought about entering,
but didn't even try!)
We hope you will
enter again and look forward to
seeing more of
your work!
Enter
Today!
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Like to
see your name in print?
Love to rant and rave about your favorite topics? Channel that creative
energy by entering our humor writing contests!
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