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| "AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM
SHOWCASE
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October /
November 2006 Contest Results |
An
Organizer for My Organizer
By Brad Manzo,
New York
I love
electronic gadgets. In fact, I’ve become so obsessed with gadgets, that
I have gadgets for my gadgets. For example, I’ve got an organizer that
attaches to my cell phone. Do I really need this? No, but, it makes a
great conversation piece. “Hey, is that the new organizer for the
Motorola?” strangers ask. I smile and think I’m pretty cool. However,
when asked for a demonstration, I’m forced to admit that I don’t use it
all that often.
Speaking of organizers, at one point, I had three electronic organizers
and a Rolodex. Amazingly, I still missed appointments and forgot
birthdays.
I also have a laptop for when I want to sit poolside and check my
e-mail. Unfortunately, I don’t have a pool or a backyard in my
apartment. However, I do use it to watch a “Three Stooges” CD Rom.
My wife finds this amusing but I’ve begun to find it disturbing. I have
several great, expensive gadgets that are collecting dust. I want to use
them but simply don’t have the time. “Is this a sickness?” I ask my
wife. “Just one of many,” she replies. I then call her a “wise guy” in
my best Curly impersonation.
Thankfully, my wife doesn’t watch the Three Stooges, otherwise, she’d
probably smack me in the face or pull my nose. Then again, I don’t think
anyone is as addicted to TV as I am. Last year, I purchased a 1.5” color
TV so I don’t miss a moment of my favorite shows. If nature calls, the
TV is right there with me.
When my wife was expecting our second child, I desperately wanted the
gang from “Everybody Loves Raymond” by my side as I cut the umbilical
cord. However, I decided it would have been incredibly selfish to watch
TV as my wife was in the throes of labor. Besides, there was a better
alternative—purchase a brand new digital video recorder, record it and
watch it in the comfort of my own home.
The impending birth caused another dilemma. Which camera would I use to
cover the birth—the digital camera, the camcorder, the conventional
camera, or, what’s behind door number four—a brand new, state-of-the-art
camera that has the features of all three? My mind raced with
excitement. This was a brilliant idea that couldn’t be forgotten and had
to go directly into my organizer—but which one?
I quickly came back down to earth realizing money would be better spent
on diapers and baby food. (Ironically, this enlightenment occurred on
the same day I purchased the digital video recorder.) Finally, I
exercised sound judgment and logic.
However, when it comes to possibly the greatest gadget ever made—the
remote control—logic goes out the proverbial window. When I have my TV
clicker, I’m in charge. “Who’s the man now?” I exclaim as I watch four
shows at once. “A man with the attention span of a three-year-old,” my
wife replies. Her insults can’t phase me because I have officially
morphed into Remote Control Warlord—Master of Family Entertainment. Men
around the world can relate this to high.
Unfortunately, at the end of night, my reign as warlord ends. I once
again become a married man in charge of taking out the trash and making
sure the oil is changed...but at least I have my gadgets.
http://www.sanitycentral.com/guest/brad.htm
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