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| "AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM
SHOWCASE
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April / May 2006 Contest Results |
Fun For The
Whole Family
By
Brad Manzo, New York
When my daughter
recently said to me, “Daddy, let’s play Candyland,” it brought back
childhood memories of my family playing games. From board games to
charades to football, we played it all. However, it wasn’t always a
positive experience. In fact, sometimes it was downright ugly.
On the surface, it seemed like a great idea. A couple of hours of games
would keep the kids from becoming bored and it was something the whole
family could do together –- always a solid selling point.
If we decided on a board game, we’d excitedly spend a half an hour
choosing the game then another half an hour listening to my father read
the instructions. The excitement -- and the tension -- was building.
Then came the all-important roll of the dice to see who’d go first.
Usually, this caused some trepidation but nothing out of the ordinary.
The person who wound up going last usually announced impending defeat.
As the game wore on and clear winners and losers emerged, the teasing
started and soon someone (as the youngest, that someone was usually me)
would throw a tantrum resulting in game pieces thrown halfway across the
room. A terrified family pet would be scared half out of its wits,
winners accused of cheating, and the game would abruptly end. We had
achieved the goal of family fun.
It didn’t end there. If we were on a weeklong family vacation,
(surprise!) the entire scene would be re-enacted each day of the
so-called ‘vacation.’ It always started as a great idea then quickly
disintegrated into a brawl. The only thing that changed was the game. If
the weather were nice, we’d move outdoors, for football or soccer, which
just provided us with more fighting room. However, technically it was
time spent together doing a family activity -– fighting.
I certainly don’t blame my parents, myself, or my brother or sisters.
(Why should I be accountable for my actions?) I blame Parker Brothers
and Milton Bradley and all the game makers who invented these games
designed for family fun. Couldn’t they envision that when you bring
competition, sibling rivalry, and adolescence together for more than 30
seconds, all hell would break loose?
Additionally, someone always has to lose. Whoever said that cheesy
expression “It’s not whether you win or lose but how you play the game”
apparently doesn’t know me. I lose at just about everything (and hate
it) and, in fact, recently lost at checkers to my nine-year-old niece. I
begged her for a rematch and promptly lost again. I did what any grown
man would do and then challenged my six-year-old nephew -– an easier
mark. The outcome of that match is still under dispute, though I’ve been
told I’m the only one disputing it.
If the Fox network were smart, they’d start a show: A Night of Family
Fights. Of course, they’d make millions, I’d be credited with nothing
and would chalk up yet another personal loss. However, this isn’t about
me. This is about the bad marriage of family and games.
“Maybe, it’s just your family,” my wife suggested. She’s right, who says
the next generation has to be like us? However, when my daughter said,
“Christopher can’t play Candyland with us,” and pushed my son, I had my
answer.
So the next time someone suggests playing Monopoly or touch football
with your family, cut right to the chase and break out the boxing gloves
and headgear.
Chances are
that’s how it’ll end up anyway.
http://www.sanitycentral.com/guest/brad.htm
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