| "AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM
SHOWCASE
|
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| October/November
2005 Contest Results |
"Confessions
of a Holiday Fake"
By Jean Reidy
Greenwood Village, CO
Honorable Mention, October/November 2005
It all started
with the tree. I never liked Charlie Brown’s tree. I only liked Snoopy’s.
Blame it on years of inhaling evergreen-scented artificial snow fumes, but
I find no Christmas inspiration in driving to a forest, which used to be
my grocery store parking lot, and haggling with a tattooed guy named Zeke,
over a languishing live tree.
That’s how I got
to be standing in Sears deciding between the Colorado Blue Sprucelle, the
Austrian Fine Pine and the Forever Foil Fir, their botanical and
mechanical distinctions, described to me by Len, who sold me my car
battery last Spring.
“The Blue Spruce
folds up like so,” he says. I’m sold.
I never did fold
up my Spruce though. You see, we store it in the garage wrapped in a
sheet. It doubles as a Halloween ghost...
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